Deferment

    Well it has been a while since I have published a post on here. I am still out there training and still enjoying conversations with my Grandpa. I made a commitment not only to the process of training for this race but also a commitment to my Grandpa that I would not publish nor post anything we discuss without his approval. We have had some wonderful conversations. Some more heavy than others but all have helped me understand the man behind the uniform. The man behind my mission.

    This week was another educational conversation. One of the things I have loved during this time is the education on all things military and life from his perspective. Along the way I have learned things I was previously unaware of. This week we spoke of the draft, the heart of the volunteer and deferment. So many conversations in life I have spoken about the power of a word. Just one word can not only elicit emotional responses but resonate with people and effect them more than the speaker could comprehend. One of those words to me is the word deferment.

    Deferment, when you hear that word what crosses your mind? Often times people's experience with this word is unsavory. There is something that feels unsettling about this word. And in the military the word deferment is often times frowned upon. But before we get into all of that, I want to revisit my conversation with my Grandpa a little.

    When people hear about the draft, a lot of times it is associated with the Viet Nam war. Or at least that has been my experience. We do not hear much about the draft previous to that time period, however it existed. My Grandpa was not one of those that was drafted to the Korean War, he was a volunteer. Someone who signed up by choice, also known as an enlistee or an enlisted man. We spoke about the draft at length. Sometimes when the Army was full, draftees would then be placed in other branches of the military. We spoke about draftees in the Marines. I had a good laugh when he told me that in the Marines it did not matter if you were a draftee or an enlisted man, you were a grunt period (I'll save you the colorful language). "We were all treated the same," he remarked. We also had a lengthy discussion on the heart of the volunteers. He thoughtfully commented on the amount of respect he has for the young kids these days that sign up, because no matter their reason, they all have signed up by choice. We also got into the subject of deferment. Do not worry I'll share my reason for having this conversation with him in just a minute. We talked about why people defer, and how. I honestly did not know there were so many ways people were deferred back then. We talked about the 4F, otherwise known as the medical deferment. We talked about people deferring for college, or they were the soul provider for their family, the only son, etc. And apparently at one point if you were a farmer you could also defer.  We talked about what it meant back then to defer. How people viewed it. It was all very interesting to me.

    Back in May, the Marine Corp Marathon sent out emails to us runners to discuss the possibility of deferment. They were considering all that was going on in the world (thank you Covid) and how best to be safe and move forward. They offered runners a chance to defer and keep your spot for an upcoming year. And there was that word defer. Immediately I thought nope, there is no way I am deferring. This was back before Covid started taking vengeance again. And so I kept training. With my eye on the prize if you will. Then about two weeks ago, roughly a month later and a huge surge of cases, they sent out another email. Again, there was that word defer. This time though it weighed on me. They notified runners the course time would be cut down and if you did not make it to a certain check point by a certain time you would be done for the day. Now my little heart loves to run and I know come race day I would push my hardest, but I also had to be realistic on my expectations. I did not want to get all of the way there to be removed from the course with a DNF. This time though, they offered runners a chance to defer for another year to do the live race but also an opportunity to continue to train and do a virtual race. But still that word "defer" lingered. If I defer does that make me a coward? Afraid in this pandemic to risk my health and my family? What about my Grandpa? Could I finish the course by the cutoff? I am after all, doing this for him. And so I consulted with my running coach and called my Grandpa. Hence, our most recent conversation. He told me he would be ok with my just deferring. A fellow runner himself, knows the challenge of running a race, let alone a solo one. My coach pumped me up telling me not to worry she would help me strategically plan my course, even these tough hills I am surrounded by, and get me to where I need to be physically to take on this challenge. And so late Tuesday night I deferred. BUT I also volunteered, to do my own race. As soon as I submitted my deferral, I clicked the link and submitted my application to go virtual. And do not get me wrong, we are talking about the Marines here, we have rules and stipulations in doing this race and requirements that must be met and I am ok with that.

    I understand the heart of a volunteer. I spent 8 years as a volunteer firefighter. My Grandpa signed on and so did I. I know there are challenges up ahead. There will be no race day high-fives from other runners. There will be no fan fair. No cheerleaders. No hilarious signs that take your mind off of the pain for those few seconds. There will be no aid stations  or porta-potties on the course (actually that last one doesn't hurt my feelings too much). There will be no Marine at the finish line to hand me my medal. I will be out there solo. Fighting the pain. Fighting the fatigue. Fighting the inner voice that says, "why don't you just quit?" But I have something better than all of those things. I have my Grandpa. His voice. The stories we have shared. The extra time we have spent together talking, laughing and crying. He will be with me. I am not a coward by deferring and doing a virtual solo race. I am a fighter. He taught me that! Semper fi